“I have some wonderful and kind long-term friends back in my home town, but searching for good or appropriate friends in my location seems to be harder to achieve. I write this for my son who one day will read this and hopefully learn from his daddies tale of woe.”After dropping off my son to his mothers, I decided Pizza would be a one-off treat for my tea, so I put this half supermarket and half self-made creation into the oven and waited with anticipation and a rumbling-tum. Ten minutes later and the house was filled with smoke!
Once the thick toxic smoke had cleared, I discovered that someone had left a plastic grill handle in the bottom of a brand new oven, which I didn’t see when putting my pizza in. The pizza was now toxic and as I am about to find out, so was a new friendship.
Now this is where it gets interesting. At the same time, my new friend (or so I thought) had bought a ‘buy one, get one the free ‘ Indian take away meal big enough to feed a family.
Two weeks earlier I had given this guy half of my chilli-con-carne meal because he had no food in and was going to go hungry until payday. Being kindly this seems normal to me, however, with my toxic pizza now left ruined, I asked if I could have a bit of his large ‘buy-one-get-one-free’ take meal extravaganza for obvious reasons. To my surprise he wanted to charge me half the cost of the takeaway, despite its ‘buy one get one free’ status.
I declined in disgust and on principle, but was polite. I actually watched this person walk away with more food than he could handle and knowing I was going to go hungry that night.
In the four months I have known this person, I thought he was a ‘good egg’, but even now 40 years later my judgement of people has been tested and failed, so with this tale I will transcend both space and time and give my future grown up son a lesson about people.
The moral to this story is, always check for foreign bodies before you close the oven door, but most importantly, never assume people will ‘do the right thing’. Time and time again, I have been shocked by other peoples’ unkindly ways (being polite). There are good kindly people and friends, but never assume they are until they have shown you they are.
Last year I was overwhelmed by my good friend’s kindness, support and generosity in most cases, but I was also disappointed by some people’s too.
The point I am making here son, really good friends and people are hard to come by, and never lose touch of really good people. There are also ‘so-called’ friends who will step over you, when you have fallen down. It has taken me 40 years to learn this hard lesson.
Friends come and go, but always keep in touch with the diamonds amongst the rough.
A very proud Dad.
"Feel the pride."
Stuart Lovatt on
Founder of Heat My Home.